Are you aware of what causes you to feel blind-sided? Most of us realize it after the fact, but when we stop and think about it, we know certain behaviors or attitudes always throw us off course. That awareness can help you to feel more in charge of handling the next unwelcome surprise that comes along. Especially the big ones – they can really take you out!
Today I invite you to take it a little deeper and get even more benefit from doing that inquiry.
If you choose to take it on seriously and use it, this practice can help you build a foundation of resilience that kicks in automatically when you need it. It can provide the shift in your thinking that keeps you from going “down for the count” when you’re blind-sided by something big. It will also help if you’ve been standing your ground for a long time in the face of what feels like a relentless, ongoing series of challenges.
Resilience is what helps you get back up when you’re knocked down. It starts with deciding you want to get back up – and that is no small decision sometimes. Staying down can feel easier, safer and sometimes, even inevitable.
My recommendation is to breathe through that urge to stay down when it hits, and you will be exercising your resilience muscle, and enjoy the success and happiness that is available to you in every moment!
To accomplish that, try using the following belief-busting, resilience-building practice….
7 Steps For Building Unshakable Resilience
- Identify the blind-siding examples that had the biggest and/or longest-lasting impact on you – the ones that made you quit, pull back from others, get into a perpetual fighting attitude toward someone, or stay “down in the dumps” for an extended time. Those are your knockout punches.
- Visualize each example as a punch to the jaw, nose, or gut – whichever seems like the most appropriate image to capture how it feels to you. Really feel the impact of it in your body.
- Be willing to OWN – even if just in theory for now (and no matter how convinced you are that it isn’t true!) – that you are allowing and even participating in that impact, as a habit or pattern that has evolved in your life.
- Look at the beliefs about yourself and life that contribute to this pattern, and notice how powerful and persistent they are in keeping you suppressed, guilty, demoralized, stuck, etc.
- Choose new and empowering beliefs that are the exact opposite of each of those beliefs, and write them down on a clean sheet of paper. Make the words as large as you can and still have everything fit on the page. (need help with this step, click to access the Step By Step Guide for added guidance and support)
- Now picture yourself avoiding the punch, or just shaking it off while declaring your new belief about yourself in that circumstance. As you see yourself steppping out of the way of each punch, or shrugging it off like it’s a feather, as you assert your new belief about yourself and life.
- Reinforce those new empowering beliefs – hourly if possible by putting that list (and maybe a few extra copies!) where you will see it multiple times per day. Get some tape and thumbtacks and post it around your house and workplace. Some of these new beliefs could make a great background image on your electronic devices, so you see it everywhere you go!
To put yourself back on track quickly in the middle of a knockout punch situation, use the following super self-care emergency kit.
3 Sure-Fire Bounce-Back Practices
- Soothe the part of you that hurts or is upset, knowing that you deserve compassion and healing.
- Say “Thank You” for all the gifts and resources you are grateful for, so you consciously recognize the support system available to you and put it to use for maximum bounce-back effect.
- Engage your generosity by caring for others, if any, who have been affected by the same event or circumstance, IF you have the capacity to do so (remember: “put your own oxygen mask on first!”). If no one else was affected by this particular event, think about something you might do for the next random person you meet. It could be just to look them in the eyes, smile lovingly and silently wish them a joyful day. Thinking about and giving to someone else is the surest way to let go of your own momentary concerns!
Finally, remind yourself that sometimes life just happens, and while you wouldn’t choose some of the outcomes, maintaining focus on the ones actually within your power to manifest is a far better use of your time, energy and emotions!
Again, if you need additional guidance and support in making these changes, you can access the Step By Step Guide here
and we breathe…