So let’s say you’ve decided to give up trying, and are determined to actually DO something toward a goal that’s important to you. How do you know if it’s the right goal? Can you trust what your heart and gut and/or intuition are telling you? What if they’re steering you in a direction you really wouldn’t choose if you knew differently?
Many questions come up in life, and unfortunately most people only want quick and easy answers. Sometimes it takes a while to get the answers we really need. After all, life is a journey that has many detours, obstacles and storms.
But today I will share with you a process that just may help you get some of your most important answers a little sooner.
Be ready for some surprising discoveries, as you may unearth some of your self-saboteurs along the way. Don’t worry, though – the best answers you can get are those that help you move forward with more clarity, and maybe a whole new confidence!
Take time this week to answer the following 5 questions to determine what next steps you might want to take. If you find it hard to focus on the questions at first, listen again to my “Relax Now” meditation* you got as my gift when you signed up for my newsletter. It will help you get centered and quiet. Then get a paper and pen and really dive in!
The following exercise used consistently over time will train your brain to get back on track working toward what you really want, so you don’t fall off the path for too long when “pop quizzes” happen!
5 Steps to Full Engagement
Do this inquiry when you want to make sure NOTHING is getting in the way of your success and wellbeing!
- What desired outcomes do I choose to focus on? List your short and long term goals for your personal, financial, work, family and social life. Your desired outcomes are your dreams, wishes, goals, desires, hopes and expectations for the immediate future and over the next 10 years. Write them down. This gives them a presence in your life – you have no chance of achieving a goal if you keep it hidden… especially from yourself!Important: Don’t judge them or worry about whether they’re possible yet. This “brainstorming” step is for you to really envision and sit with what you want for a while.
- What am I willing to do differently in my life to make my outcomes a reality? This question must be asked for each goal, dream, hope, etc. Remember that definition of insanity as doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result? Get clear: are you really willing to do anything differently in your life to achieve your goals?
- If I knew I could not fail, what would I do to achieve my desired outcomes? All too often, we stop ourselves from doing something we dream about because we are afraid of possible problems we imagine could happen down the road. The “What ifs” paralyze us, and then we end up doing nothing to achieve our desires. Shut off the “what if” analysis! If you truly knew you could not fail, what would you go for with all you’ve got?
- On a scale of 0-10, how strong is my desire for my outcomes? Am I willing to face my obstacles, my detractors, my doubts and fears, and trust that I am able to face a new reality? This step allows you time and space to look at those things that get in your way. You get to decide how much power you will give these deterrents. It is your choice. And remember, when you give yourself time to STOP! BREATHE! and FOCUS! you put yourself in a better position to make conscious, purposeful decisions that will move you in the direction of your desired outcomes.
- Where is my biggest saboteur likely to be? You want to be ready for the people, circumstances and events that could block or derail you, and have a plan for bracing yourself to move past those obstacles. Ask yourself: Is it a need for someone else’s blessing, before I allow myself to truly step into my life? Is it giving more weight to other people’s beliefs, perceptions, needs or feelings than to my own? Give yourself permission to lovingly stand your ground, and plan how you will respond when potential saboteurs show up. Practice consistent awareness of your feelings and reactions. That will enable you to make conscious and purposeful decisions for yourself and your life.
I wish you all the best as you move forward, one step at a time, feeling purposeful and empowered. You may not always know what the next step is, but now you know what questions to ask to help you figure it out!
* NOTE: If you can’t find your copy of the “Relax Now” meditation, you can always re-enter your name and email in the signup box in the upper right corner of this page, and follow the instructions to get the download, or listen right on the website!
If you find you need some further tips and ideas while you go through this process, email me at Loren@BeingWellWithin.com to request a complimentary 30-minute private consultation, to help you get unstuck and moving forward quickly. Or consider ordering a copy of my book, Being Well Within: From Distressed to De-Stressed. It’s like having me there so you can ask a question any time – but with the convenience of being right there ready to provide the help you need, whenever you need it! Click HERE – I’ll even personalize the book for you and/or someone you love!